ass hackin

My boy was having a impromptu foursome with his friend and two strippers one night in typical midwest crackhead fashion [pants at the ankles, idle chatter between lines of cocaine on a dirty floor behind the strip club dj booth]. he explained it wasnt as exciting as it sounded on paper though. apparently the chicks were more interested in doing the coke rather than giving eachother rimjobs until a face was squirted upon. and when he finally did start giving one of the chicks [according to him, the hotter one. black with black hips and black lips and a weave and would get real nasty if you let her] the business from behind her phone rings and she fuckin answers it. this all in mid fuck! he got so annoyed he pulled out his dick and just bust all over her back before leaving her there on all fours gabbing with one of her girls about the new acrylic nails she had just purchased at the mall[they had fake ruby's embeeded in them and she said it made her look like a princess].

the Internet sure can be funny. i stole this from somethingawful.com. it made me laugh so hard my pants got soiled. this is usually fine by me, as i kind of get off on whining to my girlfriend that i "made an accident" and having her wipe down my befouled bottom with a cold wetnap and changing my undiepants, but unfortunately i stumbled across this link while i was at work and had to sit in my mess all day. actually, i kinda liked that too. the joke is to make w "joke" literal and give it an ending thats actually realistic instead of a punchline. for instance:

What do you get when you're gay?

Made fun of.

see? hahahah. oh you didnt like that one, well how about this:

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says.

"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.

"I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

c'mon. you gotta admit. thats funny right? pfft. if you dont find that funny then you are an adolescent fisting homo pervert. oh! and speaking of fisting, Vida's camera phone got hacked. there were pics in it of her naked of course [because when you look like vida it is your duty to strip whenever there is any sort of image capturing device around]. have you noticed what a nice ass she has?

i think i am sort of in love with her. if nothing else but the way she makes me get tingly in my special area's when i see her. the only thing the strikes me as more arousing is shitting my pants and having my girlfriend change me like a baby, but we went over that already.

ooh. i ust had a BIG coffee. its really doing a number on my bowels. instead of going to the bathroom, i think ill just sit here and see how this plays itself out.